I think everyone should post one blah blog. I am so grateful for so many wonderful people in my life, and such great support. I love you guys!
So, I am fine, but I am really glad I let it all hang out for a moment. I now have really great pick me up notes to read next time the "funk" happens.
I am in CA at my mom's house. We decided at the very last minute to take a road trip. We drove up to Portland to see my brother Justin and his wife Alisa and their adorable new puppy Zoe. Then we went to Eugene to visit my dear friend Elise and her fun family. Then we drove down to Paradise to visit with my mom and dad and other brother and wife and kids. I have loved this road trip. Maybe I'll post pictures after we get back. School starts next week and then we are in a set routine for awhile. Ben starts kindergarten and Emily will be in 2nd grade. I can't believe how time flies.
Anyway, if you post a blah blog, I'll post a comment. They really meant a lot to me. Love you guys. Jen
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Blah blog
Well, this is not a blog entry with some great exciting news. In fact, I feel like complaining, and Nate's already heard it a million times. So, I will make this my blah blog entry, instead of my brag blog. Read on only if you dare. It's not going to be pretty.
So, I live in a real nice place. I have everything I dreamed of. Why can't I be happy today? I have a cold, I haven't slept well the last several nights. My stomach hurts. I want to go out and do something important, and exciting. A doctor? A lawyer? A reasearch scientist? I can't stop tearing up, and the tears keep coming. Many would say, go get drugs. Others would have no patience. I am one with no patience with myself. I do most things in life because I think I should. I am good at grinding my teeth, feeling guilty, and getting to work to get something done. I am surrounded every day by three little balls of energy that go and go and go. They never stop to whine or complain, except to me. Nate is also like the kids. He can go and go and go. In fact he stayed up all night last night working on work. He usually doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. I am starving all day. He gets to be thin and in shape. I exercise every day without fail, and am more round than I would like. Anyway, blah, blah, blah. This is how some days are. Even though my blog makes it sound like everything is great all the time, I really lie. I do have everything I wanted, but I still want more. I want to be more, and do more, and see more. I get mad at myself for this. Maybe that's why I read so much. I always want to learn more and experience more. Anyway, I look up to so many of you. You all seem to have it together to me. I can't get myself to call anyone and say "how do you do it?" So, I struggle inside and know that eventually, like my Dad says, this too shall pass. I guess the good out of feeling so badly, is that someday Emily or someone else will say, "how did you do it?" And I'll be honest and say, some days I didn't.
So, I live in a real nice place. I have everything I dreamed of. Why can't I be happy today? I have a cold, I haven't slept well the last several nights. My stomach hurts. I want to go out and do something important, and exciting. A doctor? A lawyer? A reasearch scientist? I can't stop tearing up, and the tears keep coming. Many would say, go get drugs. Others would have no patience. I am one with no patience with myself. I do most things in life because I think I should. I am good at grinding my teeth, feeling guilty, and getting to work to get something done. I am surrounded every day by three little balls of energy that go and go and go. They never stop to whine or complain, except to me. Nate is also like the kids. He can go and go and go. In fact he stayed up all night last night working on work. He usually doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. I am starving all day. He gets to be thin and in shape. I exercise every day without fail, and am more round than I would like. Anyway, blah, blah, blah. This is how some days are. Even though my blog makes it sound like everything is great all the time, I really lie. I do have everything I wanted, but I still want more. I want to be more, and do more, and see more. I get mad at myself for this. Maybe that's why I read so much. I always want to learn more and experience more. Anyway, I look up to so many of you. You all seem to have it together to me. I can't get myself to call anyone and say "how do you do it?" So, I struggle inside and know that eventually, like my Dad says, this too shall pass. I guess the good out of feeling so badly, is that someday Emily or someone else will say, "how did you do it?" And I'll be honest and say, some days I didn't.
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